Lubes & Lotions: 101

Lube Me Up...

If you’ve never used lube during sex or masturbation, then there’s only one thing you need to know: you’re missing out. Lubes and lotions (we’ll get onto those later) can greatly enhance your sexual experience, reduce the risk or discomfort or irritation, and make it possible to have sex for longer and more often. They can also come with their own effects which can greatly enhance your pleasure.

When and Why Should You Use Lube

Lube should be used all the time, every day, for everything.  Making coffee?  Lube.  Driving to work?  More lube! Seriously though – lubricants should be used during sex, even if you don’t have any problems with dryness.  You might just find that it makes the entire experience more sensual.

Times when lubes should definitely be used are when using sex toys or during anal sex. Lube is essential in both of these scenarios, as it will prevent injury, scratches, and the risk of sharing STIs. Anal sex, as you may or may not know, is entirely uncomfortable without any lube.

Water, Oil and Silicone-based Lubricants

There are three types of lubricants that can be used for sex, but only really two that ever should. To know the difference, a little bit of organic chemistry can help.  Oils are made up of tiny flat “plate” like particles which slide over each other.  If you bring one oil into contact with another, the plates will attempt to intermingle. Add friction to this scenario, and you get a lot of heat very quickly. This is great for refining processes, but bad news for your rubber dildo.

This effect is the reason why oil-based lubricants, like Vaseline and cooking oil, are not recommended for sex in general, and are an absolute disaster to use with sex toys and condoms.  The reason being is that they can cause the surface of a rubber toy to “denature” and become tacky, coming off inside you.  On a condom it will quickly cause the thing to break – almost every time.

Water-based lubricants are the most common, cheapest, and easiest to use.  They usually don’t stain the sheets, and are safe to use with every kind of sex toy or condom. However, they sometimes contain things like glycerine or parabens which can cause skin reactions.  This is true of all lubricants, however, so check the label for things you know you’re allergic to.

Silicone-based lubricants tend to be more expensive, and are not as widely available. They don’t evaporate and aren’t absorbed by your body, so they will last your entire session. They’re also silkier and smoother, so are great for anal sex. However, they are more difficult to clean off (requires soap and water), and they have a tendency to stain sheets.  The decision is yours. 

The only time you can’t use a silicone-based lube is when using a silicon-covered sex toy.  Then the oil-on-oil effect occurs.

Thick vs. Thin Lubricants

Lubes come in many different consistencies, from those that pour like water to ones that are more like tubs of thick jelly. In general, thicker lubes are better for use with sex toys and during anal sex, because they stay where they are and don’t slide off the toy or disappear into nothing, and thinner lubes are better for normal vaginal sex.

Special Effects

Believe it or not, lubes can do a lot more than just make things go in easier. Durex didn’t exactly pioneer the idea of special effects lubes, but they did make them popular with their “Play” range, which included lubes with warming, cooling and tingling effects.

This is about the extent that pharmaceutical companies can go to when making lubes do special things, as there are safety concerns involved.  Some people will rave about their tingling lubes ad nauseum, while others tried them once and broke out in a rash. Experimentation is the key to sexual fulfilment, however, so it is up to you to try anything once!

These lubes all contain chemicals that have different effects on your skin, so there is more likelihood you will have an adverse reaction, or simply not enjoy the sensation.  However, lubes that create a tingling or warming sensation can greatly enhance clitoral stimulation during sex, and can bring a woman to orgasm very quickly – if she likes the feeling.

Flavoured lubes are also available, and can make oral sex a lot more fun than flavoured condoms (which still taste like rubber).  Don’t go drinking it like a soda, though.

Lotions and Massage Oils

Some lubricants double as massage lotions, and there are thousands of different potions and oils available for performing the ultimate sensual massage.  Not all of these double as lubricants, however, so make sure you’re not covering your partner in oil and then putting that oil on a condom before you have sex.

Different oils will claim to do different things, but in reality it’s mostly about finding one that has a smell and a consistency that both you and your partner enjoy.  Being good at massages definitely helps.

Lubes FAQ

There are quite a few questions floating around about lubes, and modern medicine has done little to address these.  There are few published studies about allergic reactions to lubes, the long term effects of using lube, or effects on human fertility.  However, some scattered research has been done recently.  The following information is based on the best current medical knowledge, but may not incorporate all of the facts.

Can I Have an Allergic Reaction?

You certainly can – though just because you were allergic to KY Jelly doesn’t mean you’ll be allergic to a designer personal lubricant, and vice versa. A large variety of allergens can be present in lubes, though they are generally kept as “neutral” as possible. Look for things like glycerine, parabens, and “natural” products, all of which can produce strong allergic reactions. 

If you experience very fast swelling, shortness of breath, bleeding, or your sexual organs changing colour, consult a doctor immediately. Not in the morning, if it doesn’t clear up on its own – right freaking now.

Aside from allergic reactions, you can also have what is known as an acidic reaction.  Everyone’s body is at a slightly different pH level – the balance of acids versus bases (vinegar is an acid, ammonia is a strong base).  Adding a strong base to a strong acid will cause a reaction which is similar to burning. The membranes of the vagina are often the most acidic or alkaline (the adjective of a base) part of a woman’s body, and so prone to this kind of reaction. This can be very painful, but it just means you should try a different lube.

Can Lubes Cause Yeast Infections?

Very little is known about this, but if your lube contains glycerine, this can aggravate a yeast infection or bring one on if you are prone to them.  Consult your gynaecologist if you’re unsure.

Can Lubes Stop Me From Falling Pregnant?

While spermicidal lubricants are available, these shouldn’t be used as your only form of contraception (they are also more likely to produce allergic reactions and reduce sensitivity). However, even if a lube is not marketed as spermicidal, most lubes do in fact either kill sperm off more quickly, make them lazy, or cause the uterus to become “hostile” to them.

The generally-accepted advice is that if you’re trying to fall pregnant, giving up lube is probably a good idea.