Understanding Premature Ejaculation
A condition in which a male ejaculates earlier than expected and before his partner reaches climax, premature ejaculation plagues millions of men across the globe. Also called rapid or premature climax, this condition actually affects nearly 75% of all sexually active men occasionally.
Dr. Alfred Kinsey conducted a survey in the 1950s and found that roughly three quarters of all men will ejaculate—achieve male orgasm—within the first two minutes of sexual penetration in over half of their encounters with sex.
To put it as simply as possible, premature ejaculation is the act of reaching orgasm too quickly during sex. It isn’t a medical “problem” per se, nor is it something you need to think of as a medical condition. Premature ejaculation is more of an inconvenience than it is problematic.
Problems with Premature Ejaculation
Per the information above, you know that premature ejaculation is not a medical condition; but that doesn’t mean it cannot be a problem. If a male is unable to sexually last and ultimately satisfy his partner, premature ejaculation can have some serious consequences.
Mentally, dealing with the problem of premature ejaculation can be a vicious cycle. Once it is in your mind that you cannot perform sexual intercourse up to your partner’s—and obviously your preferred—standards, this can create other psychological issues like impotence/erectile dysfunction, a loss of sex drive, and overall intimacy issues that may be a lot tougher to cure than the initial problem of premature ejaculation.
This is where things get tricky. A lot of couples enjoy pretending that sex doesn’t matter, but these are most likely the couples having terrible sex. The fact of the matter is that sex does matter in a relationship. We’re programmed to procreate and build sexual bonds with suitors, and this means sexual relations play an enormous role in how we feel about our partners. If you are unable to satisfy your partner due to your premature ejaculation, then this can be a serious issue that could cripple your relationship unless resolved.
Overcoming Premature Ejaculation
Luckily, there are many different ways in which you can work to overcome the problem of premature ejaculation. Although it’s a toss-up issue, half physical and half mental, you can physically “train” yourself—for lack of a better term—to overcome the issue on a mental level. Below, we will discuss a few points and further elaborate on them as they pertain to helping men overcome premature ejaculation.
• Stop and Start Techniques
• Masturbation Techniques
• Creams and Treatments
• Penis Rings/Testicular Restraints
• Wearing a Condom
Stop and Start Techniques
From the Kama Sutra to the way Confucius got down, Eastern sexual techniques taught the world how to experience the most joy from sexual intercourse. It was the prudish puritans and their wham-bam 2-minute missionary sessions that screwed everyone else up. So there is a lot to learn from various Eastern techniques, namely the stop and start technique.
You won’t need any fancy equipment here. All you need is a little restraint. While masturbating (because it’s easier to practice this without a partner), you want to bring yourself to the point of climax and then just stop. That’s right; put it down and walk away. Wait about 20-30 seconds or until the sensation of a looming orgasm subsides, then you can begin again.
Once you learn how to properly hold out on your own, you can implement this practice in bed with a partner. Not only will you satisfy your partner better by lasting longer, but the stop and start technique leads to a mind-blowing orgasm.
As you probably tried to convince yourself in your formative years while masturbating constantly, “practice makes perfect.” But be aware that straight-up masturbation—“jerking off” with your hand—frequently will actually only worsen the problem. When you do have intercourse, nature will effectively run its course, only a lot quicker than you anticipated. In other words, going from your hand to a vagina can cause you to climax even quicker.
A good way to masturbate to overcome premature ejaculation is to use something with the similar feel—texture, temperature, etc—of a woman’s vagina (or a mouth or anus). Sex toys like the Fleshlight (or something similar) are made with remarkable material that bears a striking resemblance to the real thing. This is true practice; the more adept you become at holding out during actual penetration, the more satisfied your partner will be.
Creams and Treatments
There are also various creams and herbal treatments you can try. But be warned here, desensitizing creams will take away a lot of the sensation for sex and thus make it a lot less pleasurable. It can be used more for training purposes, to help build your stamina, but using it consistently will really suck the fun right out of sex. And for herbal treatments, Tribulus terrestns extract, also known as Libilov, has been known to increase stamina without side effects.
Penis Rings/Testicular Restraints
Various penis rings and testicular restraints are available for men. Although these aren’t necessarily designed to stop premature ejaculation, the squeezing applied by these rings and restraints will help to increase male stamina – there are even cock rings especially designed to increase your stamina while increasing your partner’s sexual pleasure, like the Simple and True Vibrating Ring.
Wearing a Condom
Obviously a condom is great to wear in order to prevent STDs and pregnancy. But they’re not always thought of in relationships for apparent reasons. However, one of the best ways to prolong sexual encounters is to wear a condom during intercourse. Because the sensitivity isn’t as intense while wearing a condom, men can ultimately last longer.
Handling Your Partner’s Problems
There are many, many ways for men to handle premature ejaculation. The catch here is that they need to know 1: that it’s a problem for the relationship overall, and 2: that it’s not a big deal. So if you decide to broach this topic with your partner, whether it’s your boyfriend, husband or just a sex buddy, make sure that you’re sensitive about it. Throwing it out there as if it’s a big problem is how men develop psychological issues with sex and are unable to fix themselves.
Explain to your partner that you need a longer sexual session to be satisfied. A great tip here is to avoid talking about the penetration altogether until you get some other things out of the way, like foreplay, the use of adult sex toys, etc. By discussing issues like foreplay—cunnilingus, role play, massages, etc—you can gradually build up his stamina without him even realizing there was ever an issue.
If you would like to introduce toys into the equation, you can also do this in a very unthreatening manner. Mention a toy like the Clear Sinsation Glass Dildo. As a curved g-spot stimulator-slash-dildo, this is a thin, bent toy that poses him no harm at all. He might even enjoy using it down the road for prostate stimulation.
There are many ways you can increase sexual satisfaction with your partner. And if you do want to come right out and tell your man that he’s reaching orgasm too quickly for you, then perhaps you can take control in bed, starting with oral, making sure you control the penetration, and ultimately stopping and starting where necessary.
The important thing here is that sex remains enjoyable. Just be clear about what you need and guard his feelings on the matter in the process. Men do want to satisfy women, but the topic needs to be broached correctly.
At the end of the day, this is an easy problem to fix. The best part: premature ejaculation can be fixed through sex! How cool is that? Realistically, it’s a problem every man is going to have from time to time, and practically, it’s an issue that can be resolved with a little TLC.
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