Anal Sex

Wrong Hole!

Anal sex is, for many people, the last taboo.  It’s the one that is spoken of least, and yet has more euphemisms than we can count. It might crop up often in crude web comics, but seldom in the bedroom. Yet those who like it, and are open enough to talk about it, are extremely vocal about how big a part it’s become of their sex life, and how it has dramatically improved their sexual experience.

I’ll preface this guide by using an ill-suited metaphor: anal sex can be seen as the frosting on the cake.  It’s great to have a small portion of it in addition to your much bigger portion of cake, but if you try to have a cake made entirely of frosting, you’re going to get sick of frosting.

That said, I’ll try to answer some of the most common questions about anal sex, and give a guide to doing it safely and enjoyably.

What’s in it for the Receiver?

Contrary to what people who have never tried anal might say, anal is definitely fun for two, not just one. For women, anal provides a feeling of “fullness”, which when combined with g-spot or clitoral stimulation can produce incredibly powerful orgasms. For men, there is direct prostate stimulation which can also cause orgasms.

There is also the psychological thrill of breaking a sexual boundary, or doing something most would consider dirty.  If that doesn’t excite you even a little, anal might not be for you.

Don’t Knock It Till You’ve Tried It

Now, some people who have tried anal sex, and done everything right, simply don’t like it that much.  However, most people who have tried it and don’t like it will probably admit to making one or more major mistakes which can totally ruin the experience for both people.  Anal sex, and including anal toys and anal vibrators in your regular sex life, can be an excellent way to spice things up and add a new dimension to sexy time.

As I said above, if used as frosting instead of the whole cake (a few cocktails don’t hurt) it can be an exciting way to add something special to your sex life.

Disclaimer: Forget About the Porn You’ve Seen

Professional porn has a lot of anal sex in it.  Remember that these are professionals.  Professionals who have recently had enemas. The anus is a tender, sensitive place, and you can very easily damage it, or dislodge something you don’t want to dislodge.  Don’t try do an impromptu recreation of Backdoor Bangers in your living room.  Anal sex requires tenderness, preparation, patience, and the right technique, or you’ll end up with either a very painful or a very embarrassing situation. Bring a towel.

Getting Ready

The first, second and third steps are lubrication. This simply cannot be overstated.  Saliva is not an effective lubricant for anal sex.  Neither is soap, Vaseline, butter or massage oil – you will need a proper, water-based lubricant.  If you want to improve the experience, a specially designed sexual lubricant will help things go more smoothly.

An enema is a way to ensure that no unwanted substances intrude upon your special time, but it’s not entirely necessary. If you want, there are many enema kits available in our store. However, all you have to do is think logically about it.  If you feel like you need to go to the toilet, or you have recently eaten a large meal, it’s probably not a good time for anal.  The best time, for someone with regular bowel movements, is in the mid-morning, after you have been to the toilet. 

You might be cringing, but this kind of thing is important.  If you feel like it’s a bad time to put something in your anus, you are probably right. Trust your gut.

Start Slow

In the words of a porn star whose name I’ve long forgotten, you have to “romance the butthole” – don’t just start sticking fingers in until it’s relaxed enough for a penis. The woman should already be very aroused before any southward ventures, so a lot of clitoral play will be necessary.  This also helps to make sure the lube is warmed up.

You’ll want to gently insert the tip of a finger, at a slight angle, and move it in past the first knuckle.  Move it slightly back and forth, without pulling on the skin on the inside of her anus. If she’s relaxed, this should start to feel less tight after a minute.  Add another finger by pulling the first one out a little, and then squeezing the second finger in next to it, making sure everything is still well lubed.

At this point, an anal toy will come in very handy.  A slim anal vibrator is a good way to go – these differ from normal vibrators in that the vibrations are much slower, but much more powerful.  A normal slim or bullet vibrator will do in a pinch – just turn it down really low or she’ll probably burst out laughing.

A good position for all of this is either missionary, or in a “spooning” type of position, where the man can reach from either the front or behind.

Choose Your Position

Doggy style is not exactly the best position for anal.  It allows very deep penetration, and not a lot of control for her.  Girl-on-top positions work well, especially reverse cowgirl (woman facing away from man), as does a side-on position (reverse cowgirl turned on its side, or half onto its side).  This last position also allows easy access to the clitoris.

Guys, if you’re doing this, it’s only fair that you do your best to help her climax while you’re having anal sex, so positions where you can touch her usually work out best for both people.

Don’t Overdo It

The tissue inside the anus is not as elastic as the vaginal walls, and can’t take as much of a pounding.  Use slow, rhythmic motions that move your entire body, but don’t thrust the penis in and out too much or too quickly.  Instead focus on finding a rhythm that is not uncomfortable for her, but is still pleasurable for her.

Wear a Condom, or Be Nice and Pull Out

A condom is recommended for two reasons: it is more easy to lubricate, and it prevents the risk of the man contracting a urinary tract infection. It’s also cleaner in the event of any “debris”. However, it’s not essential and some people prefer it without – if that’s the case, it’s only polite to pull out before you climax, as ejaculating inside her can produce a nasty sensation that puts some women off anal sex.