The G-spot

Yes It Does Exist...

The story of the g-spot in modern sexology is a bit like how modern facts like the earth being round or orbiting around the sun came to be public knowledge.  At first, the idea was condemned as heretical, then dismissed as a myth, then known only to an educated few and misinterpreted by the masses, and finally there were articles about it in Cosmo, and it became accepted as truth.

In the days of Freud and Kinsey, the g-spot was something most people had never heard of.  Those who had heard of it often completely missed the point of what it was entirely.  Some myths about the g-spot include:

●    It doesn’t exist, and is a myth propagated by feminists to make men have to actually try to please their partners

●    It varies from woman to woman, and is simply an erogenous zone they particularly enjoy having touched (I was taught this in school sex education, which ironically was conducted by the only openly-gay faculty member)

●    It changes, depending on what time of the month it is

●    It is another name for the clitoris

All of those are false in massive ways.  The g-spot is a scientific fact, and you can point to it with a medical scope and a flashlight (do not try at home, unless you really want to). Its full name is the Gräfenberg Spot, after a famous German gynaecologist who was obviously quite a popular guy. It is a bundle of nerves, roughly between the wall of the urethra and the wall of the vagina, or 1 to 3 inches inside the vaginal wall, on the upper side (the side against her belly, if she’s lying on her back).

Some experts disagree on whether it is present in all women, but recent ultrasound surveys of women who report orgasms during penetrative intercourse have revealed definitive structures.  Some claim that it is an extension of the clitoris, while others say that evidence of its existence is circumstantial and it cannot be seen – but it is difficult to see physically unless the subject is aroused. 

Hitting the Spot

It is difficult to hit your g-spot while masturbating with your hand, so you will need some kind of toy to help you out.  The best ones are g-spot vibrators specifically designed for the purpose – they have a curving tip with a rounded end, and are usually about the right length to reach it for most women.

In order to find your g-spot, you will probably have to be slightly aroused first. Stimulating the area directly, without first being aroused, can result in nothing remarkable happening.  The best way to reach it using a vibrator is by lying on your back with your knees bent and your back slightly arched, and putting the vibrator in about 2-3 inches, with the tip curving up towards your belly. 

The g-spot can take some pretty heavy stimulation, but only when you’re aroused. When you’ve been stimulating it for a while, and you feel an orgasm building, you might feel a sensation of pressure, almost like wanting to pee.  When you feel that, “push” using the muscles you would use to pee, and the orgasm should start.  You almost certainly won’t pee.

G-Spot Stimulation During Sex

There are many ways to hit the g-spot during penetrative sex, but not all of them are position you would naturally find yourself in. 

1.    Girl on top – This is an easy first try, but it’s important to get the position right.  The tendency is for the girl to rest on her knees, and lean forward so her face is close to her partner’s.  This feels good, but is not very effective.  The best position is her leaning back beyond 90 degrees, with her feet on her partner’s chest or shoulders.  That way she can control the angle and depth of his thrusts, and the head of the penis rubs directly against the g-spot.

2.    Reverse cowgirl – This is slightly more advanced, and works both if her knees are on the bed, or if she’s supporting herself with her feet (more difficult, but more effective).  It’s also easier for both partners to manually stimulate the woman’s clitoris.

3.    Reverse entry (doggy style) – This is one of the most reliable methods, but it has to be done right.  The woman should be resting on her elbows, and not her knees, with her back curved towards the bed, and not arched upwards.  If you rest on your hands with your back arched, the angle of penetration is wrong, and the woman can sometimes be too high up for the man to penetrate properly.

4.    Coital Alignment Technique (CAT) – This little-known position is probably responsible for more female orgasms than all others put together, but is seldom used because it is not a natural position.  It starts in missionary position, with her legs in the air.  The man “rocks up” onto her body, so that the penis points almost vertically downwards inside the vagina.  He then thrusts downwards and forwards, which directly stimulates both the clitoris and the g-spot.

5.    The Kitchen Countertop – A good name for a position, but not actually an ideal surface (it’s too high). You’ll want a sturdy, flat surface that’s low enough so that he has to bend his knees slightly to penetrate.  Have her lock her legs around her lower back, and concentrate on thrusting up and down more than in and out.  This takes a bit of practice, but can be great for stimulating the g-spot.