How To Use A Vibrator
Thursday, December 1, 2011
A Girl's Best Friend...
For someone who has never owned a vibrator before, or hasn’t ever masturbated to get herself off, the massive variety of different vibrators can be quite daunting – especially if you don’t even know if you’ll end up using it. If you’re a guy reading this, hoping to figure out what to get to spice things up with his girlfriend, your task is all the more intimidating.
Remember that while vibrators and sex toys are very familiar to some women, most women who have only been sexually active for a few years will be just as intimidated by vibrators as you are – and probably know even less about using them.
Your First Vibrator
For a lot of women, and many couples, the first vibrator ever brought into the bedroom is usually some slim (and cheap) clitoral vibrator – usually a “bullet” style one or a mini vibe – because these are the least intimidating and they look like “safe” options.
However, these aren’t actually an ideal choice for a first vibrator – they take a bit of self-knowledge to use them properly. Also, the cheaper ones tend to “buzz” rather than vibrate, which sounds like a minor distinction but it’s very important: a tinny, buzzing vibrator will tickle more than anything else, and produce a lot of laughter and not many orgasms.
In fact, the best vibrator for a first-time user or couple is a multi-purpose vibrator that does everything, has a lot of power, and doesn’t shy away from being a little imposing. And no vibrator does this better than The Rabbit, or a rabbit variant. A lot of companies produce rabbit-style vibrators now, so you have a lot of choice here as well. If you’ve ever watched Sex and the City, you’ll already be familiar with the rabbit’s many virtues.
A rabbit vibrator is one that has a large main shaft about 6-7 inches long and almost an inch wide, and also has a signature clitoris stimulator that extends from near the base, designed to stimulate the clitoris while it’s deep inside you. Arguably the best version of the rabbit is the g-spot rabbit, which has a curved tip to directly stimulate the g-spot (more on this later).
It might look intimidating, but it’s one of the easiest to use, and it’s almost guaranteed to produce results for first-timers. Pick one with several different settings, and one that’s got a lot of power, especially if the g-spot tip rotates.
Using Clitoral Vibrators
Before using any vibrator, you have to realise that it isn’t going to automatically make you orgasm. Your mind plays the most important role in sex and masturbation, and if you’re not relaxed and in the mood, and able to carry out at least a semi-coherent fantasy in your head, the physical stimulation won’t really hit the mark.
To use a clitoral vibrator, you’ll have to first find a setting that’s good to start with. You’ll have to change it up as you go along, but find one that doesn’t tickle. Start by touching yourself in different places on your labia to see what feels good. Start by stimulating your clitoris from the top, and then move slightly lower, under the hood, as you become more aroused.
If the vibrator is a bullet or an egg, holding it with all of your fingers directly against your clitoris can vibrate your entire labia, which is great for bringing you over the edge. You’ll have to do plenty of experimenting to find out what works, but once you do, you’ll be able to get off like clockwork.
Using a G-Spot Vibrator
G-spot vibrators are a different story altogether, and you will have to have a little bit of confidence and know your body at least a little to get the most pleasure out of it. Some women find vibration inside the vagina a little weird, but give it a try. As well as using the vibrator on your labia minora (the small “lips” around the entrance to your vagina) you’re aiming for your g-spot.
The g-spot is a small, ridged area of ridged skin about 2cm across, and it’s positioned on the upper wall of your vagina, about 2 inches in (so against your belly, essentially). It’s much easier to feel when you’re aroused, and if you’re using a vibrator it’s easier to hit one if the vibrator has a curved tip specifically for this purpose.
Start by massaging it slowly, using a low setting on the vibrator and slow, regular movements. Too much sensation too early will make it difficult to orgasm, and be uncomfortable. You’ll probably need some clitoral stimulation if you’re not using a rabbit-style vibrator that has a clit stimulator – your hand will work, or another small vibe can bring you to orgasm quickly if used on your clitoris.
Once things get going, start by increasing the pressure and speed gradually, and boost the vibrations up a few notches. If you feel that you’re very aroused, but not getting much further, try changing to a side-to-side motion or reversing the direction of your circles as you massage your g-spot. Eventually you will feel a sort of pressure, as if you need to pee. If you just go with it, and push with these muscles while maintaining g-spot and clitoral stimulation, you should have a powerful orgasm within a minute of this sensation.
Lubrication – Always Important
If you’re using a clitoral vibrator, there’s a good chance you won’t really need lube. However, if you’re using a rabbit or any other type of vibrator meant to be inserted, a little bit of lube will go a long way. You can go with any basic water-based lubricant like KY if you spent all of your money on a big, fancy vibrator.
However, it’s good to have a bottle of the good stuff lying around for when you want to treat yourself, or impress guests. Extra silky lubricants specifically designed for use with sex toys are a cut above the drug-store stuff. It’s a difference you have to feel yourself to fully appreciate.
Using a small amount of lube can make the difference between a very satisfying session with your new vibrator and an uncomfortable experience you won’t bother repeating soon. Once you’ve used lube with a sex toy and during sex, you’ll wonder how you ever got by without it!